| Part 1 | Thinking About Living Together | 1 |
| 1 | The State of the Union | 3 |
| A Quickie Look at a Century of Matrimony | 4 |
| The Strong Winds of Social Change | 5 |
| Marriage in the New Millennium | 7 |
| Controlling the Winds of Change | 9 |
| Champions of Marriage | 10 |
| Times Are Changing | 12 |
| 2 | The Scoop on Live-In Love | 17 |
| A Bit More History | 17 |
| The Climate for Change | 18 |
| Serving Live-In Love | 20 |
| From Hollywood to Hoboken, Guess Who's Moving In | 20 |
| International Appetites for Live-In Love | 22 |
| Why Joe and Jane Are Moving In | 22 |
| Do Live-In Lovers Find Satisfaction? | 26 |
| How Live-In Love Impacts Family and Kids | 27 |
| A Forecast for Live-In Love | 29 |
| 3 | The Facts and Fictions of Living Together | 31 |
| Truth or Consequences, a Self-Test | 31 |
| Commitment with a Capital "C" | 33 |
| Marriage, Living Together, and Commitment | 35 |
| The Great Debate | 35 |
| Differences Between Marriage and Living Together | 36 |
| If It Isn't Marriage, What Is It? | 38 |
| Dispelling Fictions | 40 |
| How Significant Is a "Significant Other"? | 41 |
| 4 | Special Risks for Women | 45 |
| Women at a Disadvantage | 45 |
| Self-Testing Your Risk Factor | 46 |
| Desperation, an Element of Probable Risk | 47 |
| Low Self-Esteem, an Undeniable Risk | 48 |
| Reported Risks | 49 |
| Risky Scenarios | 50 |
| One Last Warning | 55 |
| 5 | Unique Concerns for Men | 57 |
| Separating the Boys from the Men | 58 |
| For Divorced Men Only | 59 |
| Sex on the Mind | 60 |
| Women Who Spell Trouble | 60 |
| Men Who Have Been Had | 61 |
| Men as Serial Live-Ins | 65 |
| Learning to Evaluate Risk | 65 |
| 6 | Playing It Safe | 67 |
| Playing for Marriage | 68 |
| Playing with Finesse | 69 |
| Cohabitor or Marriage Partner? | 70 |
| Which Cohabitors Become Marriage Partners and Why | 71 |
| Games You Don't Want to Play | 72 |
| Misunderstandings: Innocent and Intentional | 74 |
| Safest Calls | 77 |
| What Makes These Folks Special? | 77 |
| The Best of Live-In Love | 78 |
| Part 2 | Coming Up with a Decision on Live-In Love | 81 |
| 7 | Devising Romantic Motives and Lovers' Agendas | 83 |
| Learning to Make Good Decisions | 84 |
| Applying Good Decision-Making to Love Relationships | 85 |
| Decision-Making for Two | 85 |
| Implications of Romantic Partnership Decisions | 86 |
| Deciding on Romantic Motives | 86 |
| The Art of Agenda Making | 88 |
| Managing Love's Growth | 88 |
| Uncovering Your Partner's Agenda | 90 |
| Is Moving In on Your Agenda? | 91 |
| 8 | Sizing Up Potential Gains or Losses | 97 |
| Creating a Menu of Opportunity | 97 |
| Opportunity Qualifiers | 98 |
| Getting Out of a Live-In Relationship | 102 |
| When Moving Out Turns Ugly and Spiteful | 103 |
| Testing for Potential Losses | 103 |
| Minimizing Potential Losses | 105 |
| Tools for Rethinking a "Golden Opportunity" | 105 |
| 9 | The Power of Love | 109 |
| Love, the Big Motivator | 109 |
| Uncovering Cupid's Secrets | 110 |
| Growing Into Love | 110 |
| The Fatal Attraction | 113 |
| Love's Unrealistic Idols | 115 |
| What Is Love at Its Best? | 116 |
| 10 | Is It Love? | 119 |
| Identifying Love Styles | 119 |
| Love Style Choices | 120 |
| Finding Out Your Love Type | 122 |
| A Trio of Reality Checkups for Love | 123 |
| Mutually Exclusive or Mutually Necessary? | 130 |
| Coming Up Empty on the Love Front | 131 |
| 11 | Partnership Potential | 133 |
| The Compatibility Factor | 134 |
| The Core of Compatibility | 134 |
| Sexual Compatibility: You Gotta Have It! | 136 |
| Putting Out the Brushfires | 141 |
| Communicating with Purpose | 142 |
| Part 3 | Getting Ready to Move In | 147 |
| 12 | Pre-Empting Disaster | 149 |
| Your Relationship Histories--Past, Present, and Future | 150 |
| Charting Relationship Histories | 150 |
| Are Some Historical Facts Better Left Unsaid? | 153 |
| The Art of Making the Deal | 153 |
| Rules of Engagement | 153 |
| Important Discussions You Just Can't Afford to Put Off | 156 |
| Readiness Quiz | 158 |
| Cold Feet | 159 |
| 13 | The Cohabitation Agreement and Other Sticky Legal Issues | 161 |
| Common-Law Marriage: a Relic of the Past | 162 |
| What Exactly Is a Cohabitation Agreement? | 163 |
| Musts for Cohabs | 165 |
| Imagine This Predicament | 166 |
| Getting Around Legal Shortcomings | 167 |
| The Truth About Home Buying | 168 |
| Practical Measures to Protect Life, Limb, and Pocketbook | 169 |
| A Critical List of Nevers | 169 |
| The Irony of Another Legal Web | 170 |
| 14 | Drawing Floor Plans | 171 |
| Whose Place? Yours, Mine, or Ours? | 172 |
| Convening Your Economic Summit | 175 |
| How Significant Is the Other? | 177 |
| Drawing Kids Into the Floor Plan | 179 |
| Dealing with the Ex-Spouse | 181 |
| Setting the Alarm Clock on Live-In Love | 183 |
| 15 | Finding the Best Building Materials | 185 |
| What's in Your Tool Kit? | 186 |
| New Nuts and Bolts | 186 |
| A New Way to Look at Love | 190 |
| There Is No Substitute for a Healthy Relationship | 193 |
| 16 | Beware of Poor Foundations | 195 |
| Too Much Disparity of Style | 196 |
| Warm Beds Are Off-Limits | 196 |
| Jealousy, Infidelity, and Mistrust | 197 |
| Flooding a Partner with Bad Vibes | 199 |
| Two Faulty Joints | 200 |
| The Danger of Setting Poor Precedents | 201 |
| A Case of Poor Precedents | 201 |
| A Foundation Safety Recheck | 202 |
| Part 4 | Living Under One Roof | 205 |
| 17 | A New Lifestyle Vocabulary | 207 |
| Becoming "We" | 208 |
| Making a Home "Ours" | 210 |
| Committing to Practical Maneuvers | 210 |
| Coupling: Unveiling a New Duo | 211 |
| Growing Into the Word "Couple" | 212 |
| Interdependence: Converging Into One Now and Then | 215 |
| 18 | Living-Together Etiquette | 219 |
| Etiquette for the Sake of Harmony | 220 |
| What Is Etiquette? | 220 |
| Starter Set of Etiquette, Live-In Style | 221 |
| Etiquette, Room by Room | 222 |
| Etiquette for a Sound Relationship | 225 |
| Unsettled Issues of Etiquette | 225 |
| Family Matters | 226 |
| Uncharted Territory | 227 |
| Adding Your Own Rules of Etiquette | 228 |
| 19 | Smart Moves | 231 |
| Simple Do's | 232 |
| Simple Don'ts | 232 |
| Four Essential New Moves | 233 |
| Spoilers in the Fine Art of Living Together | 236 |
| Reasonable Expectations | 238 |
| Precarious Live-In Expectations | 239 |
| 20 | Keeping Love's Embers Warm | 241 |
| Beginners Guide to Love Talk | 241 |
| The Power of Love Messages | 243 |
| Sending Messages of Love | 243 |
| Time for Creative Thinking | 245 |
| Romantic Overtures | 245 |
| What to Do About Dormant Emotions | 247 |
| Responsive Love Acts | 248 |
| 21 | Sex, Sex, Sex | 251 |
| The Challenge of Couples' Sex | 252 |
| Gender and Sex: Let's Get the Record Straight | 253 |
| Sex Facts You Should Be Familiar With | 255 |
| Common Complaints, Simple Answers | 256 |
| Tips to Alleviate Boredom | 257 |
| Sexual Communication | 260 |
| Your Sexual Rule Book | 261 |
| Part 5 | If the Roof Caves In | 263 |
| 22 | Sensing Trouble in Hearth and Home | 265 |
| Measuring Live-In Happiness | 266 |
| Obvious Troublemakers | 268 |
| Searching for the Roots of Trouble | 269 |
| Too Much or Too Little Synergy | 273 |
| Signs of Troubles | 275 |
| Absolute Relationship Breakers | 275 |
| What's Best for You? | 276 |
| 23 | Household Survival Tactics and Patching Materials | 277 |
| Objectivity Is the Critical Factor | 278 |
| In Which Bed Does Your Problem Lie? | 279 |
| How Couples Change | 281 |
| Calling a House Meeting | 281 |
| Three Quick Steps to Improving Home Atmosphere | 284 |
| Designing Checks and Balances | 284 |
| 24 | Getting Out the "For Sale" Sign | 287 |
| The Dynamics of Breaking Up Your Live-In Relationship | 288 |
| Stop Wasting Time! | 290 |
| Telling Time | 290 |
| Astrological Corroboration: Yes or No? | 294 |
| Are You Stuck in the Muck? | 295 |
| 25 | Avoiding Moving-Day Disaster | 297 |
| Moving Out Isn't Going to Be Easy | 298 |
| Planning Your Departure | 299 |
| Do's and Don'ts for After the Fact | 303 |
| A Victim's Departure | 304 |
| When Kids Are Involved | 305 |
| Facing Raw Emotions | 306 |
| Part 6 | Moving Toward the Altar | 309 |
| 26 | Marriage Material--His, Hers, Theirs | 311 |
| Is Your Live-In Marriage Material? | 312 |
| Laboratory Predictors of Marital Success | 313 |
| Compare Your Marital Risk Factors | 313 |
| Upgrading Your Live-In Mindset | 314 |
| Going for an Educated Mindset | 316 |
| 27 | The Transition from Live-In to Marriage | 321 |
| WARNING LABEL: Mandatory Reading | 322 |
| Ripe and Ready Junctures | 322 |
| Crossing Over the Line | 325 |
| Revising Expectations | 326 |
| Making a Fresh Start | 329 |
| Buying Marriage Protection | 329 |
| Your Personal Transition Worksheet | 330 |
| 28 | Newlyweds and Marriage Management | 333 |
| Newlyweds vs. Live-Ins | 333 |
| Before You Take Your Vows | 335 |
| The Marital Roller Coaster | 337 |
| Marriage Prerequisites | 338 |
| An Active Role | 339 |
| What Makes Marriage Work? | 340 |
| Use Secret Strategies | 341 |
| Marriage Truths | 342 |
| Appendixes | |
| A | Men Who Abuse Women | 345 |
| B | Stress Busters | 347 |
| C | Premarital and Relationship Courses | 349 |
| D | Glossary | 351 |
| Index | 355 |
Format: Paperback, 2nd ed., 360 pages
